Looking Back: Jack Dempsey Edition

big yawn

I haven't written a look back of last week yet, and don't plan to do so.

Work was accomplished, good things did happen, goals were met, but it was all overshadowed as we watched our JackJack become more ill as the week progressed.  This illness, of body and mind, culminated in our decision to have him put to sleep yesterday.

sweet, sleeping face

It was a tremendously difficult and painful decision that was made monumentally worse by a trusted and liked vet who, because she disagreed with our decision, was rude, cruel and unprofessional.  As a result, our final moments with Jack Dempsey were spent in a room wrought with tension and stress.

For that reason, Jack feeling emotions other than love and peace as he looked at us for the last time, I am struggling to be able to forgive our vet.  I told my husband last night, that I didn't want to forgive her; which isn't totally true of course.  Unforgiveness will hurt me, not her, in the long run.

Right now, though, it's too fresh to forgive; plus it's hindering my ability to grieve fully for our Jack, which causes me to become angry all over again.

I'll return to pick up Jack's ashes, pay our balance, and see when St. John's next appointment should be scheduled.  After that, I'll gladly never enter that building again.  The vet felt that after many years as both excellent clients and cat parents, we needed to find another vet--yes she was that angry with us--and so do we.  I will never trust her or that practice again.

Enough on the that, though.  I want to celebrate Jack's short time with us.

at ease in the recliner

He was so sweet and loving, despite having been feral before I found him.  He quickly became a lap cat--well, actually, a squeeze-in-beside-you-in-the-recliner cat, or a sit-on-the-arm-of-your-recliner cat.  He sat on a bar stool at the dining room table with us, never begging, just being a part.  As his illness progressed and he needed the closeness of my husband more, he slept in the curve of my husband's arm, snuggled close.

He loved back rubs, shredded sharp cheddar, canned food with lots of "gravy" and sleeping on the couch.

He enjoyed playing with toys, but his favorite game was to chase the "red bug" (laser pointer), especially if we ran it up onto the recliner.


He knew exactly when my husband was due home from work, and would be impatient for him if he were late.

He was a kind friend to Lizzie and was St. John's idol.

Jack's heart was always torn between his love for us and his wild nature; this eventually led to his mental anguish, we believe.  We were blessed to have him, though, even just for two years.  The pain of losing a pet is negligible when compared to the joy that pet has given.

(Note: Jack's ear was folded back like that because of an untreated ear infection that caused a rupture in the skin, before we found him.  He also had been shot with a pellet gun at least once, as one pellet was lodged inside him, under his front right armpit.  Also, despite being just about a year old when we took him in, he had severe arthritis that made moving around very difficult in cold or wet seasons.  All this is due to the rough life he had as an uncared for outside cat.  If see you an uncared for cat or dog, have mercy on them and try to take them to the shelter.   They are better off euthanized at the shelter than living a life like what Jack lived before I picked him up off the side of the road!)

Be at peace at last, Jack Dempsey!  We certainly do miss you!

sunning in the window

Jack's 2012 Christmas portrait

My Friday Fives (a day late)

Good grief what a week!  The fact that this is a day late. . . well, let's just say that the fact it's posted at all is pretty amazing!

My husband had the week off and we did quite a bit around the house; we are exhausted!  I've been an extra trial to him, on top of the work, by being cranky most of the week.  I should add "be less cranky" to my goals for next week!

St. John is now 11 months old!  He is finally slowing down and beginning to show some lazy cat-like behavior!  He was napping right before I took these, but he tends to show that pretty white tum to lure me in, so he can eat my hands when I try to pet it!

Doncha wanna pet my belly?!?!

1. Moved the couch out of the living room and into the "sun room/Florida room".
2. Moved the office out of the dining room and into the former living room.
3. Moved the dining room table out of the Florida room and into the the dining room.
4. Made a chocolate pie for my husband for our anniversary.
5. Still miraculously managed two doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, a vet visit and one load of laundry!

1. Mom's homemade copycat Frosty--yummy!
2. A trip to the hobby store.
3. A free birthday iced, half-caf, soy vanilla latte from Starbucks!
4. A free birthday (turkey) burger with freckled fruit from Red Robin!
5. Five rolls of Washi tape picked out by my husband for me!

1. Move office to living room area.
2. Move couch to "Florida room".
3. Move dining table to former office.

We completed the only three goals I set for this week, and I am quite proud of our efforts!

1. The kitchen needs to be mopped even more, now!
2. Move the pantry to it's new home in the dining room, which requires a first step of. . .
3. . . . taking down the utility shelves used in the former office so that the pantry shelves can be put up, which requires a first step of. . . 
4. Finding a new home, even if just temporary, for the things on the utility shelves in the former office.
5. The bathroom needs an extra good cleaning, since this week was otherwise occupied.
6. (bonus goal: be less cranky!)

big yawn from Jack

1. Family that loves me, even when I struggle.
2. sweet kitties
3. tomatoes
4. books to read and. . . 
5. . . . time to read them

In an effort to reflect more positively on what I accomplish and to plan goals more reasonably, I'm going to start writing out My Friday Fives.

A Bit about Disappointments and Way More about Kitties

Disappointments are hard to take, and can be harder for some of us to handle.  I'm one of those, for various reasons.  So this afternoon's large disappointment (the answer of "no" to some potential income) has laid me out like a left hook from Sugar Ray.  The possible courses of action are racing around in my head like a whirlpool, the flotsam and jetsam of thoughts surfacing for a second or too before they rush around some more.  I'm trying to practice all I've learned in these past two years, and let it go, let it not overwhelm me, let myself relax.  Trust.  Breathe.  Just live.  I'm trying.  It's all part of life, I can learn to cope, and this blossoming ability to talk or write about it will bring on healing.  At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

On a less personal, gloomy note: Jack Dempsey is starting to walk on a leash outside!  This is fantastic news indeed, you see, as he was terrified of even a collar.

He is a rescue--literally.  I saw him on the side of the road, a short way from our house.  He had an ear flipped back, which looked wounded, and he looked so sad and tired as he started to dive into the tangled undergrowth at the side of the road.  I stopped the car and spoke to him, then got out and walked to him.  I knew, in that moment, that he was mine, though I pushed that thought back and put him in the car and drove around to the few houses nearby to see if he belonged to anyone.  I put up notices, but happily, no one responded and he became ours.  I thought he had just come home to die; it was hard for him to go up and down stairs and he just slept--so deep, that most times I would assume he was dead when I would go downstairs to check on him.

Fancy my shock when, at the first vet visit, Dr. Penny told me he was over one year but less than two.  Imagine the lifetimes he must have lived during that one year, to look as he did.  He even has a palpable pellet embedded deep inside, under his left front leg, the souvenir of someone's air gun or pellet gun.

(Happily, the folded back ear which caught my attention at first, and had me so concerned, wasn't serious.  It's the permanent result of an untreated ear infection--you don't want the details--and will always be folded back.  After a few months of comfortable indoor life, it lost the painful, sun-burnt and leathery look and he'll even let my husband pet it.)

Given that history, it's no wonder Jack Jack was afraid of a collar, and terrified of a cat harness.  He would watch out the window with such longing, though, when we would take St. John outside.  His frustration with St. John became much greater, I think as a direct result of the jealousy, and I really was worried.

Then St. John started accidentally slipping out of his harness when he would jump to catch bugs (this baby has never known anything but walking on a harness, and runs, jumps, chases bugs and climbs trees with me hanging on for dear life) and I found the Kitty Holster online.  It works even better than a harness, and is much more secure.  They state in their advertisement "cats who hate to wear harnesses LOVE the Kitty Holster!"

I didn't believe that for a minute, but my husband decided to give it a try with Jackeroo.  We squeezed him into St. John's harness (I was reminded of the Prince Regent in his stays) and took him outside.  He did fine. He did more than fine, in fact, especially considering he was entirely too big for the holster.  After another successful try, I ordered him one in his size (figuring that even if he didn't use, St. John will grow into it).

I can't say that Jack "loves" it, by any means.  He is still a bit grumpy putting it on, and sometimes slips his leg through the neckhole (I can NOT figure out how he does that), but on the whole, he enjoys his walk and is visibly more relaxed than he was just last week.  I plan to write raving reviews for  Kitty Holster everywhere I can.

Here they are yesterday, having a lovely sniff.  Notice St. John's happy "up" tail!  He just loves going out. Jack is enjoying the feel of the air and all the smells, while St. John has a roll in (what's left of) our gravel drive.

Amazing how much better I feel now, half an hour or so after I began this post, just from all my happy chatter about two of my kitties. :)

Oh, and I got more Washi tape today!  I had forgotten all about it; ordered it from the Plaid Barn, or maybe from Pick Your Plum.  (I threw the packaging away without looking.)  How can one feel melancholy with new Washi patterns in the house!?

I'm especially excited by the one with keys!